next to a beautiful woman,

i’m sitting at the cafe.

an urgency rises up-

why can’t i have things my way?

why can’t love and pleasure

visit me on my terms

easily as the green flourishes

on the deep forest ferns?

why is it that the things which elude me

are the things I so passionately long for?

has nature itself abandoned me

like dead leaves on a forest floor?

All my life i’ve wrestled with the world around me

seeking to gain love and support.

and self pity rises up-

a dark tide, rocky no, ships at port.

Self pity is the most selfish thing

enraptured by one’s wishes and fears-

may god guide to service and harmony

and save me from selfish tears.