“Christ, place me gently in the present moment, make me a gentle servant for your peace and love.”
So at the end of the day I go over things and see if I have lived the prayer I have written that morning. I’ve been very busy today and have shared what I can- a smile here, a joke there; at other times, it’s more like, “God, redirect my attention from wanting to eviscerat thee man in front of me in line at walgreen’s who is cashing in a fistfull of lottery tickets, the machine saying ‘you’re a winner’ each time. I disagree.
I don’t think being a spiritually –Â minded person has anything to do with what we think; it’s the awareness of what we think. The observing presence within the mind growing in the mind- perhaps this is one definition of mindfullness.
Lately I’ve been feeling a hopelesness that just sort of hangs around me like a fog. My feet feeling like bricks; the clouded sky a portrait of doubt and fear.
Knowing that the cancer can spread at any time and the prognosis is terminal; the fear mechanism of my mind had been going wild. I wrote this prayer and it has helped immensely: “Christ, when I feel hopeless direct my thinking to how I may be useful to others.” That was a few days ago. I haven’t felt hopeless since. When I’m not looking for it, it’s there. When I look for it, it runs away.
I treasure the time I spend with God in the morning by the east end water, writing, meditating and praying. I write my morning prayer and get out there, living it to the best of my ability, knowing that in Christ all things are possible.
Today I’m excited to be alive, knowing that kindness heals all relationships, and no one heals alone, and thanks to you, i’m not alone.
Ben, you write so beautifully and I always look forward to your posts. Always remember that you are loved by so many, including myself. Being alone is something you’ll never have to worry about.
And as a good friend once told the both of us long ago on a basketball court, always “F the check”. That was a wise man. đŸ˜€
Very nice description of mindfulness as awareness of content, not content itself.
Ben
This is one of the most beautiful pieces I have read on the ‘blogosphere’ thanks for sharing.
This is beautiful Ben, I love the insight of ‘spiritual mindedness is not always a change in thinking but an awareness of what we think’. I know I get caught in expectations of spiritual growth/recovery/myself that I will suddenly be free from unprincipled thinking. It’s an ideal to grow towards, but it’s the awareness that brings me humility. Which is something I desperately need.
Julia,
If you know you know humility, you already have it.
-Ben
What i meant to write was, “If you know you need humility, you already have it.”