HERE I AM

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Here I am,
oh Lord,
walking away.

Here I am,
screaming
in the emergency room,
the wind howling outside.

Here I am, Oh lord. Here I am.

Here I am,
shivering naked
in the bathroom
unable to shit.

Here I am
too weak to pick up the phone.

Here I am, oh Lord,
cold under your sun.

Here I am,
frightened of food.

Here I am,
gobbling oxycodone.

Here I am, Oh lord. Here I am.

Here I am,
walking away from
the poisons of man,
seeking you.

May you take
this broken life
and heal it
with eternal light.me

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About Ben Dooling

I began this blog shortly after being diagnosed with terminal rectal cancer. It has since begotten a short book of poems, most of the poems came from here. Cancer has taught me more than it has taken. It has shown me my gifts, and what an examined life is.

4 thoughts on “HERE I AM”

  1. Hello Ben-
    I have seen some of your photos and poetry. You have an amazing gift for art and expression and I very much appreciate you offering that gift to others. Thank you for sharing this blessing and thank you for your courage. You are loved!

  3. Hey Ben I have been reading your posts and I’m assuming the treatment didn’t work. I wanted you to know that I am praying for you daily. I’ve been asking God to come for you no matter what it is that you have to go through. I don’t think we ever met the we know a lot of the same people. brother if you ever need someone to talk to I’m on your Facebook page

  4. Jason, we have met…. In spirit. The fact that you’re. Willing to pray for someone you haven’t met in person almost brings me to tears. I have about 7 months left, minus a miracle.

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