I’m sitting across

from my dear sweet mother

in an apartment I live with

many another.

 

The blood tests showed

a steady rise in cancer

for the past three months,

and the doc had no answer.

 

So a cat scan was ordered

and I prepared for the worst-

lotsa tears and muted rage;

the anger came in bursts.

 

It was the longest night,

the one after the scan-

seeing visions of love undone

and the end of me as I am.

 

In a hotel room,

just me and my mom,

waiting to hear the next day

exactly what was wrong.

 

was around two pm

when i picked up the phone

and called the doc

(I was all alone.)

 

She said the scan was stable

and showed no cancer growth-

I didn’t find myself able

to hear what she spoke.

 

I had prepared for the worst-

and this is how I did it-

I let go of the bad things in life

and here they are: i’ll admit it…..

 

a goodbye to loneliness

wouldn’t be so bad,

and ‘see ya’ to cancer to.

Take care, miss rejection

I never ever liked you!

 

I’m still sittin’ here

with my mom

on a couch in the livingroom.

I’m not sure while I’m still around,

but, in no small part to her love,

maybe i’m not goin’ anywhere to soon.