The rain was slicing through the stiff cold air, leaving the streets of my childhood home drenched in the tears of the roaring sky. The wind screamed as I looked out of the window of my youth; trees breaking, cars bobbing in the sorrow of the sky.
This was my dream the other night– the home of my upbringing was under siege and I was frightened. I was a child again, and I was facing all the fears and lack of control that came with my childhood. Shadows of ghosts moved in the mist.
Freud would say the house represents the body, and the storm represents the cancer. I was just a frightened little boy in the dream and now I am a frightened man, looking out at that world through that window and hearing the screaming winds of mortality call out to me while I find the quietest place I can within me and call out to my heavenly father that the winds subside and that the sunlight of childhood return to my heart.
That was beautiful Ben. My though are with u each day u struggle and friends and family have to stand by and watch and wait for what may be. Power and will are what will bring peace to you. . Stay strong fight the fight and never give up, hope will bring you through this, I know it..
Thank you Melissa for writing that.. As Bens advocate and friend messages like that make my day….. Thank you.
Ben,
That was so nicely written and i really felt that desire to be the child again as you were wishing you could return to the sunlit heart of childhood. Though the storm of your disease tears through you, there will come a time of peace. Keep the faith and get well. I have faith in you.
Suzanne