I am on fire– my thirst for God and his loving grace has never been more present.

Recently I was in a place of hatred. An older sibling would not return my  calls – there is a long history there, of which the details I feel are unimportant for the purposes of this blog – and I felt this blockage which stood in the way of forgiveness and love. I would pray and get quiet by the east end water, seeking acceptance of her actions. But my heart was as turbulent as the waves in front of me, unceasing rolling anger.

I knew that I could live long with this type of anger in me; I consulted with my sponsor who directed me to hold off on writing a letter because I was not clear on what message I wanted to send.

All I felt compelled to share in a letter was my anger and confusion at what I perceived to be a selfishness in her which transcended my ability to forgive, given that I don’t know – due to cancer – how much time I have left.

I went to my father with this dilema- he helped me draft a letter, the heart of which was this: “Can there be forgiveness and love between us from this point forward.” Peace. It wasn’t that i needed a relationship with her, but closure.

So I sent this letter and – this is the miracle of it – as soon as I dropped it in the mailbox, I felt overwhelmed with a sense of the peace of God.

The next time I went to the east waters to pray and meditate, there was only gentle sunlight caressing a peaceful sea.